Sometimes being a lawyer is exhausting. Sometimes you go to work on Monday, work 12 hours, and drive into the office on Tuesday knowing it’s going to be the exact same way. Sometimes, on Tuesday, at noon, you start to fully comprehend that you will work 12 hours on Monday, on Tuesday, on Wednesday, on Thursday, on Friday, and good-freaking-Lord, on Saturday too.
You will print, and copy, and draft and make phone calls. You will deal with partners and talk to other lawyers and call the Court.
And then, you will remember…. You will remember that last weekend Target had pepsi products on sale. You will remember how you bought a 12 pack of Mountain Dew because, really, who likes actual Pepsi? And you will make the fateful choice to step out into the *incredibly rare* sunshine of the Pacific Northwest to retrieve said Mountain Dew from your trunk of your car, your car that says, “I’m a lawyer, but a poor one.”
It will be OK for awhile, because you’ll resist the sugary, caffeinated sweetness for some time. You’ll keep printing and copying and drafting and phone-calling, drinking water all the while. But then… then it will call your name.
And you’ll know better. You’ll know you shouldn’t be drinking Mountain Dew at 4:00 in the afternoon. You’ll know that you’ll regret it that night and the next morning. But you won’t care. You won’t care because an associate lawyer can only do so many hours of cite checking and doc review and exhibit organization before they just want to crawl under their desk and pray for the day they become partner, with someone else to do the printing and copying and drafting and phone-calling.
I’ve been there, friend. I am there with you right now. Yesterday I was sucked into the sweet siren call of Mountain Dew. I am back at my desk 13 hours after I left it.
But I am tired. I am exhausted. I have bags under my eyes that clinique foundation cannot cover up. Because last night, when I finally hit the hay and could go to sleep …. I couldn’t sleep.
So I played a round of “iMessage Cribs” with my friends where we compared the organizational state of our homes (I win, because I’m single and single girls don’t need much). I played about 17 rounds of Candy Crush Saga. I started reading a new e-book about blogging and writing (Free in the lending library, or $4.99). I even started an Amazon Prime video on Roman history.
At some point I fell asleep. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But I slept fitfully. Because a jolt of caffeine at 4:00 will come back to haunt you in your sleep.
This morning I hit the snooze button for 1 hour and 3 minutes. *My neighbors – they LOVE me.* And you know what that means, girlfriends? Shower? Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.
So… don’t be like me. Don’t drink Mountain Dew at 4:00 PM. Don’t succumb to the pressures of associate lawyering. Resist the temptation. Or you’ll be at your office, 13 hours after you left it (if you’re lucky), with greasy hair like this.