Not Getting What You Want…

It might be cheating for a Wordless Wednesday post to be a screenshot of words, which was my original intention with this post, but I posted this on Facebook yesterday and felt the urge to share it here. That photo was September 1, 2012, taken in a SLC Nordstrom after a very sweet makeup girl asked why I was in Salt Lake. I told her I had to get out of town because my boyfriend had just broken up with me. She did a full face of makeup for me – because you can’t cry when your makeup looks fantastic. (Which really is true.) That makeover session meant a lot to me and I still wear a lot of the same Clinique products.

If you want to read more about my journey during that time in my life, check out these posts:

My First Night in Salt Lake City
My Second Night in Salt Lake City
When I Told Everyone that All of My Plans had been Crushed
The Whirlwind of September 2012
When It’s OK to be Angry about a Breakup
When It’s OK to Mourn a Breakup
When I Found that Dalai Lama Quote on Pinterest

I shared in that last post that when I figured out how to move on, I would tell you guys. I’ll have to think about that and see if I can write a post. But I don’t know that it was a conscious decision. I think it was a lot of grace – grace to myself to feel the emotions I need to feel, and grace toward him to know that as much as he hurt me, he was hurting himself. And that sounds pretty shitty* for him. But I do think you need to feel all of the pain before you can start letting it go, and that’s something I avoided for a long time. Don’t be like me.

*Yes, that’s a bad word. But breakups blow. So shitty is the appropriate adjective.