Diary of a First Time Homebuyer: Why I’m Buying When My Boyfriend Owns a Home Too

Diary of a First Time Homebuyer, Relationships

The Diary of a First Time Homebuyer

I am shocked by how frequently I’ve been asked why I would buy a house when my boyfriend bought his own house less than a year ago.

For some reason, people assume that because my boyfriend already owns a home, I don’t need one. They think it’s weird that when my lease is up I’m not moving in with him or simply renewing my apartment lease. When I say that I don’t want to continue to pay rent and want to invest in myself, they stare blankly at me or look even more confused.

One of the founding topics here at WMSB has been singleness. My original life plan assumed I’d be married at 25. It wasn’t a “plan,” I just never considered not being married at 25. I thought basically everyone got married by then. I turn 30 soon and I am still not married. I am fine with this. I am incredibly happy with my life right now and things are going really well.

For some reason, people have assumed that because I’m buying my own house, that J and I are breaking up. They’ve assumed I am unhappy in our relationship and I must be predicting that we won’t get married. I can’t tell the future. I can tell you that I don’t waste time in relationships that don’t have potential. I believe J and I have a lot of potential, and our relationship is constantly growing, maturing and a LOT of fun. The fact that I’m buying a house is zero reflection on the status of our relationship. Plus, we’ve been together “officially” for less than a year. Slow down, people!

AT&T Stadium

J and I in Dallas with “Flat Joe.” The Cowboys lost, the Seahawks won; one of us was happier than the other.

I am buying a house because I believe in investing in myself. I believe in living life from right where I am. That’s the point of this blog, right? To appreciate where God has determined my soul should be. Right now, my soul is happy, unmarried, in Washington and intends to stay here.

I’m also working to pay down debt and increase my net worth. Renting has a $0 value of net worth increase. While a home is a debt, it does come with a net worth value. It also serves as a potential income property down the road. My grandparents bought a condo in the 1980s and lived in it for like 15 years. Since that time, they’ve rented it out. Today, it’s paid off and acts as an income stream for my grandma now that she’s retired and my grandpa has passed away.

The Diary of a First Time Homebuyer: Why I'm Buying A House When My Boyfriend Already Has One

My Grandma and I after lunch on the beach

When I told her I was starting a house hunt she was so excited to learn that I not only was appreciating life right where I am, but that one day I might have my own real estate stream of income in retirement just like her.

J is also incredibly supportive. He loves knowing that I’m independent. He didn’t even blink an eye when I said I wanted to buy and has also told several people that he doesn’t see anything wrong with us both owning our own homes. If things work out, then we have TWO investments. He thinks that’s great!

So here’s the thing, girlfriends. For the love of God, do NOT put your life on hold because you think you might one day get married and won’t know what to do with a “spare” house. I’ve known several women who have done just that and wasted years in rentals because it wasn’t their time to get married. I, personally, have put my life on hold for a man that I thought was “the one.” I was wrong and I left that relationship in a total rut professionally and financially. That breakup brought me here to Washington and, although it felt devastating at the time, was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

The Diary of a First Time Homebuyer: Why I'm Buying a House When My Boyfriend Already Owns One

Washington is stunningly beautiful

I vowed after that to never let myself settle for “one day.” Instead, I am living right where my soul belongs. And for me, that looks like investing in myself through homeownership. It may look different for you, and that’s OK too. But people please, stop asking women why they are investing in themselves instead of trying to lock down a husband. Thanks.

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  • Reply
    November 30, 2015 at 12:48 am

    Beautiful post. You are right on!!! I am so lucky to call you a friend!!!

    • Reply
      November 30, 2015 at 12:46 pm

      Thank you! I’m so proud of all you’ve done and how brave you’ve been! xoxo

  • Reply
    Tiffany Malone
    November 30, 2015 at 9:20 am

    You go girl! You should be proud of yourself!
    Tiffany Malone recently posted…Body Peace 101

    • Reply
      November 30, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      Thanks, Tiffany!

  • Reply
    November 30, 2015 at 10:34 am

    BRAVO! I’m brand new to your site and I absolutely love your attitude. I wish I had been half as wise at 30 as you are! (I’m 45). :)
    Jessica recently posted…Wall of Sunshine Photo Set

    • Reply
      November 30, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      Aww thank you, Jessica! I really appreciate that!

  • Reply
    November 30, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    Love this! Sounds like a great decision.
    Michelle recently posted…The Importance Of A Cash Budget – This May Be The “Diet” You Need!

    • Reply
      November 30, 2015 at 12:49 pm

      Thanks, Michelle! I super value your opinion so I’m glad to know you think it was a good decision :).

  • Reply
    November 30, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Good for you. Couldn’t agree more.
    Paragon2Pieces recently posted…The First Carrot

    • Reply
      December 3, 2015 at 7:00 am

      Thanks! It seems like your house is really coming together, too!

  • Reply
    November 30, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Love love love!!! My boyfriend and I were recently looking at houses together because we also thought it was a great investment and we love the area we live in- i had a few people ask me if we were going to get married first. Uh no…. do you need to be married to both be financially stable and make living together and buying a house work? No. I am so glad you both cherish your independence and support each other, as well! I love that you don’t let others expectations of you change what you are doing. :)
    Shannon recently posted…A country christmas

    • Reply
      December 3, 2015 at 7:02 am

      You have to do what’s right for you and your partner. If we let everyone’s outside opinion impact our choices we could never truly be ourselves! As long as you’re using your discernment to make good choices, accepting *good* advice and supporting each other, that’s what matters. Good luck!

  • Reply
    December 1, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Go girl! I think that sounds so smart and awesome and brave. Before T.J. and I got married and he was moving out to Washington, everyone assumed I would be moving in with him because that’s what “everyone” does. Love reading other blogs who share these often belittled values. Can’t wait to see your new house!
    Shannon recently posted…thankful for the weekend

    • Reply
      December 3, 2015 at 7:05 am

      Isn’t it so confusing?? Not that long ago people would have been shocked if we DID live with them before that stage! It’s so crazy. Good for you standing with your values as well :).

  • Reply
    December 2, 2015 at 8:23 am

    I think you’re being so wise in doing this! If you two do get married you can use one as a rental or sell one and do something awesome with the profits or, really, anything the two of you want! It’s so smart not to put your life on hold for a guy, though, and good for him for realizing that.
    Susannah recently posted…The Best Cheesy Romantic Netflix Movies

    • Reply
      December 3, 2015 at 7:06 am

      That was my thought, too! There are so many possibilities.Thank you for your support :).

  • Reply
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