I am shocked by how frequently I’ve been asked why I would buy a house when my boyfriend bought his own house less than a year ago.
For some reason, people assume that because my boyfriend already owns a home, I don’t need one. They think it’s weird that when my lease is up I’m not moving in with him or simply renewing my apartment lease. When I say that I don’t want to continue to pay rent and want to invest in myself, they stare blankly at me or look even more confused.
One of the founding topics here at WMSB has been singleness. My original life plan assumed I’d be married at 25. It wasn’t a “plan,” I just never considered not being married at 25. I thought basically everyone got married by then. I turn 30 soon and I am still not married. I am fine with this. I am incredibly happy with my life right now and things are going really well.
For some reason, people have assumed that because I’m buying my own house, that J and I are breaking up. They’ve assumed I am unhappy in our relationship and I must be predicting that we won’t get married. I can’t tell the future. I can tell you that I don’t waste time in relationships that don’t have potential. I believe J and I have a lot of potential, and our relationship is constantly growing, maturing and a LOT of fun. The fact that I’m buying a house is zero reflection on the status of our relationship. Plus, we’ve been together “officially” for less than a year. Slow down, people!
I am buying a house because I believe in investing in myself. I believe in living life from right where I am. That’s the point of this blog, right? To appreciate where God has determined my soul should be. Right now, my soul is happy, unmarried, in Washington and intends to stay here.
I’m also working to pay down debt and increase my net worth. Renting has a $0 value of net worth increase. While a home is a debt, it does come with a net worth value. It also serves as a potential income property down the road. My grandparents bought a condo in the 1980s and lived in it for like 15 years. Since that time, they’ve rented it out. Today, it’s paid off and acts as an income stream for my grandma now that she’s retired and my grandpa has passed away.
When I told her I was starting a house hunt she was so excited to learn that I not only was appreciating life right where I am, but that one day I might have my own real estate stream of income in retirement just like her.
J is also incredibly supportive. He loves knowing that I’m independent. He didn’t even blink an eye when I said I wanted to buy and has also told several people that he doesn’t see anything wrong with us both owning our own homes. If things work out, then we have TWO investments. He thinks that’s great!
So here’s the thing, girlfriends. For the love of God, do NOT put your life on hold because you think you might one day get married and won’t know what to do with a “spare” house. I’ve known several women who have done just that and wasted years in rentals because it wasn’t their time to get married. I, personally, have put my life on hold for a man that I thought was “the one.” I was wrong and I left that relationship in a total rut professionally and financially. That breakup brought me here to Washington and, although it felt devastating at the time, was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
I vowed after that to never let myself settle for “one day.” Instead, I am living right where my soul belongs. And for me, that looks like investing in myself through homeownership. It may look different for you, and that’s OK too. But people please, stop asking women why they are investing in themselves instead of trying to lock down a husband. Thanks.