Today we have an awesome treat, Amanda from A Royal Daughter is sharing on waiting. Amanda and I “met” a couple years ago when I won a blog design in an auction meant to support another blogger’s adoption. She’s been a huge inspiration and role model for me ever since, and meeting her “for real” at influence was purely fantastic.
Perhaps you are like me, and you find yourself in a long season of waiting.
Waiting to finish school.
Waiting to meet “the one.”
Waiting to start your family.
Waiting for your youngest to finally be potty trained so you don’t have to mess with diapers.
Waiting for your dream job.
Waiting for your husband’s dream job.
Waiting to “make it” as a blogger.
Waiting to get your debt paid down.
Waiting to be able to afford that trip to Europe.
If I’m really honest with you, I’d have to tell you that I stink at waiting.
For four years my husband and I have been trying to have a baby. In early 2012, after many tests and procedures, all of which produced normal results, we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We’ve undergone various fertility treatments over the past year and a half, and in May 2013 we miscarried at just over 5 weeks.
Waiting is hard. It requires patience, persistence, and giving up of self; and those qualities are so, so hard for me to embrace.
There are times when the silent heart screams of broken dreams and unfounded hopes are louder than the quiet whispers of Truth from God’s Word. I’d like to remind you of some truths I’ve learned during my season of waiting.
If I am not waiting on God, I am waiting in vain.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and courageous. Wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
The past year and a half has seen a marked change in my relationship with Jesus. For so many months I was waiting on my cycle, tests, temperature rise, ovulation, more test results, and of course, waiting to see a positive pregnancy test. The things of this world, and unmet expectations disappoint us. But Jesus never disappoints us. If we submit our hearts to Him, He will pursue, He will heal, and He will fill us with His love and peace.
This season of waiting has a purpose.
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
For months upon months I felt as though my life was on hold. As though God has pressed the pause button on my life while everyone around me continued through the natural progression of life. And for a long time I prayed that the waiting would come to an end. I don’t even know when it happened, but at some point I realized that there is a purpose for the waiting. I began to pray that the Lord would help me embrace that purpose – His purpose – and help me to not waste this season of waiting.
I am not alone in my waiting.
“One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment.” Proverbs 18:1
It can be very isolating to feel like your life is on hold while everyone moves on without you. My own isolation was both self inflicted and the result of careless words and actions of well-meaning friends. I spent many long days and nights alone and filled with self pity.
When I finally opened up about our struggle with infertility I was welcomed into a community of what I like to call the sisterhood of waiting to be mommies – women who, like me, want to be a mama but aren’t. That community has grown into a support network of like-minded women who understand one another’s journeys and who encourage and uplift one another through the dark times.
If you’re in a season of waiting, I challenge you to not allow yourself to be isolated in your waiting. Seek community and companionship, and if you can’t find it, create it. Friendship is a necessary must when you’re facing indefinite waiting.